2. The Education of the Baby
幼兒的教育
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In the first five years of a child’s life, the first two years are considered as infancy, the next three years as babyhood. Very often there is a desire on the part of the guardians to educate the child of four or five years either in a kindergarten or at home. That time in the life of a child is a time of kingship, and the eagerness on the part of the guardians for the child’s education to begin is only pressing it with our competitive life. For our life is competitive and it is getting worse and worse every day; and the same spirit unconsciously exerts pressure on the life of the child, urging it on to become one among the many competitors of the world, in order to guard its interest when it is grown-up. But what about the most blessed years that destiny has granted to the baby, when there is no worry, no anxiety, no malice, and no ambition? That is the real kingship. If you compare a baby with a king, you will see that the baby is the king and the king is the imitation.
在孩子生命最初的五年中，前兩年被視為嬰兒期，接下來三年則是幼兒期。很多監護人常常希望在孩子四、五歲時，就開始在幼稚園或家中教育他。然而，孩子生命中的這段時期，其實是一段王者般的時光；監護人急於讓孩子開始受教育，只不過是用我們這種競爭性的生活方式去催逼他而已。因為我們的生活本就是競爭的，而且一天比一天更嚴重；而同樣的氣息，也在無意識中對孩子的生命施加壓力，催促他長大後成為世上眾多競爭者中的一員，好保護自己的利益。可是，天命賜給幼兒那段最蒙福的歲月呢？那時沒有憂慮、沒有焦慮、沒有惡意，也沒有野心。那才是真正的王者之境。若把一個幼兒與一位國王相比，你便會看見，幼兒才是真正的王者，而國王不過是模仿品。
No doubt it is better that the child learns in the kindergarten, where it is taught only the alphabet, than at school, because there its mind is distracted and it has something to play with. But at the same time, even attracting the mind of the child to a limited horizon is limiting the growth of its soul. It was much better to do as the peasants and the uncivilized people used to do, keeping their children at that age perfectly free to run about and to climb the trees and play with the soil, and to jump and run about and play with their playmates. It is a great mistake on the part of the guardians to deprive the child of that freedom and happiness which the heavens have granted it in that period.
毫無疑問，相較於學校，讓孩子在幼稚園裡學習、只教他字母，的確比較好，因為在那裡他的頭腦不至於過度集中，還能有東西可玩。然而，同時，即使只是把孩子的頭腦吸引到一個有限的視野中，也是在限制他靈魂的成長。其實，更好的方式，是像農人和那些所謂未開化民族從前所做的那樣，讓這個年紀的孩子完全自由地跑跳、爬樹、玩泥土，和玩伴一同嬉戲奔跑。監護人若奪去孩子在這段時期裡天上所賜給他的那份自由與快樂，實在是一個很大的錯誤。
The story of Adam’s exile from the Garden of Eden shows that there is a certain time in a man’s life when he is in the Garden of Eden, and after that time he is exiled from there and no longer experiences that joy and happiness and freedom that once the soul possessed. There is not one soul in this world who has not experienced the Garden of Eden, and that Garden of Eden is babyhood.
亞當被逐出伊甸園的故事說明了：在人一生之中，有一段時間，他其實是住在伊甸園裡的；而在那段時間之後，他便從那裡被放逐，不再經驗靈魂曾經擁有過的那份喜樂、幸福與自由。這世上沒有一個靈魂未曾經歷過伊甸園，而那個伊甸園，就是幼兒期。
Now there comes the question of controlling children’s intense activity. In the first place their intense activity is tiresome to other people in the family because their interests are different. But if its interest is different that is not a fault on the part of the child. For instance the guardian may be working or writing, or taking a rest, or thinking about something worldly, while the child is playing and making a noise; and the guardian thinks, “No, this is wrong.” But wrong according to which law? It is a lack of consideration when the guardian is not tolerant of the activity of the baby. No doubt it does not always fit in with the earthly people. But babies are not earthly, they are heavenly creatures. They must be given the liberty to enjoy their heavenly life, just as we are entitled to experience the life of this earth.
現在便會出現一個問題：該如何管控孩子那強烈旺盛的活動力？首先，他們旺盛的活動，對家中其他人來說常常是令人疲憊的，因為彼此的興趣不同。但若孩子的興趣與大人不同，這並不是孩子的錯。比方說，監護人也許正在工作、寫字、休息，或思索世俗之事，而孩子卻在一旁玩耍、製造聲響；於是監護人便想：「不，這樣不對。」可是，是依照哪一條法則說這樣不對呢？當監護人不能容忍幼兒的活動時，那其實是一種缺乏體諒。當然，這樣的活動未必總能配合世間人的生活方式。但幼兒不是屬於塵世的，他們是來自天上的存在。他們必須被給予自由去享受他們那天上的生命，正如我們有權去經驗這地上的生命一樣。
No doubt there is a certain limit to it. One may say, “We will not let them break the things in the house; we will not let them spoil things; we will not let them trouble us in our work”; but all that is earthly. In point of fact, the guardian has no right to prevent the baby from enjoying its free activity, and every effort must be made by the guardian to allow this. In the children’s play, in their hustle and bustle, in their crying and jumping and running and climbing their soul is expressing itself. We call it naughty, but they do not consider it so. Even if it is called naughtiness they think it is lawful for them; and it is so. And because we control them and make them suit our own lives, their energy, their enthusiasm, their spirit become limited; and in this way their real progress is hampered.
當然，這裡面仍然有某種限度。人們也許會說：「我們不能讓他們打破家裡的東西；不能讓他們弄壞物品；不能讓他們妨礙我們工作。」但這一切都只是塵世的考量。事實上，監護人並沒有權利阻止幼兒享受他自由活動的生命，反而應盡一切努力來容許這件事。在孩子們的遊戲中，在他們的吵鬧奔忙中，在他們的哭泣、跳躍、奔跑與攀爬中，他們的靈魂正在表達自己。我們稱之為頑皮，但他們自己並不這樣認為。即使被稱為淘氣，他們也覺得那是他們正當可以做的，而事實也正是如此。正因為我們控制他們，要他們去配合我們自己的生活方式，他們的能量、熱情與靈便受到了限制；如此一來，他們真正的成長也就受到了妨礙。
At this age a child is conscious of the higher spheres. Many times children have known much more about what was going on at the front during the war than even the authorities knew. They knew intuitively, sometimes in their dreams, sometimes in a kind of deep imagination; and when they predicted something, that thing happened. And that shows that at four, five, six, and seven years the child is extremely intuitive, because at that time it is under the influence of the jinn.
在這個年紀，孩子對較高層界是有意識的。很多時候，戰爭期間孩子對前線正在發生的事，知道得甚至比當局還多。他們是憑直覺知道的，有時在夢中，有時在一種深層的想像裡；而當他們預言某件事時，那件事往往真的發生。這顯示出，在四歲、五歲、六歲、七歲這段期間，孩子具有極強的直覺力，因為那時他仍在精靈（Jinn）的影響之下。
At the age of three, four, and five the baby is very imitative; it likes to imitate everything it sees. And the best way of educating the baby is to bring before it everything that is worth imitating. For instance, sounds, notes, rhythm, and anything that is pertaining to tone and rhythm build and beautify the character, and form the foundation of character in babyhood. And it is best that until the age of five the baby should not be taught anything in the way of figures or alphabet or letters. Regularity is the only thing that can be taught to children at that age, and without their knowing it; regularity in sleeping, in waking up, in food, in playing, and in sitting quiet.
在三歲、四歲、五歲時，幼兒非常善於模仿；他喜歡模仿所看見的一切。因此，教育幼兒最好的方法，就是把一切值得模仿的事物放在他面前。比方說，聲音、音符、節奏，以及一切與音調和節奏有關的事，都能建構並美化性格，並成為幼兒期性格的基礎。而且，最好在五歲以前，不要教幼兒任何數字、字母或文字之類的東西。這個年紀唯一可以教孩子的，是規律，而且要在不讓他察覺的情況下教他：睡眠的規律、起床的規律、飲食的規律、遊戲的規律，以及安靜坐著的規律。
I was very much interested in what Madame Montessori told me when I was in Italy, that besides all the activities that she gives to the children, she makes them keep a silence; and after a little time they like it so much that they prefer silence to their activity. And it interested me still more to see a little girl of about six years of age who, when the time of silence came, went and closed the windows and closed the door, and put away all the things that she was playing with; and then she came and sat in her little chair and closed her eyes, and she did not open them for about three or four minutes. You could see on her innocent face an angelic expression. It seemed she preferred those five minutes silence to all the playing of the whole day. Children enjoy silence when they have become accustomed to it. Silence is not a strain on a child. Only in the beginning it might appear to be disagreeable to a child, who is eager to play and run about, to be sitting and closing its eyes. For children to sit and close their eyes seems hard in the beginning. But when they have had some silence every day for a week, they begin to enjoy the happiness of silence.
我在義大利時，蒙特梭利女士曾對我說的一件事，讓我很感興趣：在她安排給孩子們的各種活動之外，她也讓他們保持一段安靜；過了一些時日之後，孩子們竟然喜歡安靜到寧可選擇安靜，也不要活動。更令我感興趣的是，我看見一位大約六歲的小女孩，當安靜的時間來到時，她便走去把窗戶關上，把門也關上，再把她剛才玩的東西都收起來；然後她回來坐在自己的小椅子上，閉上眼睛，約莫三四分鐘都沒有張開。你能在她那張純真的臉上看見一種天使般的神情。她似乎更喜愛那五分鐘的安靜，勝過整天所有的玩耍。當孩子習慣了安靜之後，他們是會享受安靜的。安靜對孩子並不是一種負擔。只是在開始時，對一個急著想玩、想跑來跑去的孩子而言，要他坐著閉上眼睛，也許顯得不太愉快。讓孩子坐著閉眼，在起初看來是困難的；但當他們連續一週每天都有一些安靜的時刻之後，他們便開始享受安靜的幸福。
Sometimes there is a tendency on the part of the guardian or of those around a baby to enjoy its irritability. It is a kind of entertainment for them. Because they love the baby they are amused by the little gesture of annoyance on its part. But by appreciating it, by recognizing it, by observing it, they develop that characteristic. The best thing, however, would be to overlook it, not to acknowledge it, not to be conscious of it, not to feel for one moment that the child is irritable; because once the guardian takes no notice of it, that tendency of the baby will begin to decrease.
有時候，監護人或圍繞在幼兒身邊的人，會有一種傾向，就是把孩子的易怒當成一種樂趣。這對他們來說成了一種娛樂。因為他們愛這個孩子，所以孩子那一點點惱怒的表情，也會使他們覺得有趣。然而，正因為欣賞它、注意它、觀察它，他們其實是在培養這個特質。更好的做法，其實是忽略它，不承認它，不去意識它，不要有片刻覺得這孩子是易怒的；因為一旦監護人不再理會它，孩子這種傾向便會開始減弱。
There is also a tendency on the part of the guardian to be annoyed at the irritability of the child. That too is wrong; because by being annoyed one gives to the baby, just like fuel to the fire, the energy to be more irritable. Guardianship of a baby requires great patience; and the more patient one is, the more wise one is with the baby, the more one can help its soul’s progress.
監護人也常有另一種傾向，就是對孩子的易怒感到惱火。這同樣是錯的；因為一旦惱火，你就是在給幼兒更多能量，使他變得更加易怒，就像給火添柴一樣。照顧幼兒需要極大的耐心；一個人越有耐心，面對幼兒時便越有智慧，也越能幫助他的靈魂成長。
Very often behind the irritability either of a child or of a grown-up person there is a hidden reason, and it may be a physical reason. There may be something physically wrong which others do not know of; and they only think that this child is irritable by nature. They attribute the irritability to the child, instead of seeing that there is something physically wrong with it. By trying to find out what it is, one will be able to tolerate that condition better.
無論是孩子或成人，他們的易怒背後，往往都有一個隱藏的原因，而那很可能是身體上的原因。也許他的身體出了某些別人看不見的問題；但人們只會認為這孩子天生脾氣壞。他們把易怒歸咎於孩子本身，卻看不見其中也許有某種身體失調。若能試著找出那究竟是什麼，便會更能包容這種狀況。
There is another tendency in the baby, and that is that during its development it has varied moods. Some days it is loving, other days it is less loving; some days it is more angelic, other days it is less angelic; in this way it changes its moods. In this phase the greatest care should be taken that all such moods of the child are controlled, without forcing one’s own will too much upon it. For instance, if the baby is very much inclined to cry, to laugh, to destroy things, or to play, the best thing is to direct its attention to something else. if it is laughing very much, one should direct its attention to something that will keep its mind busy, that will make it more balanced, and take its attention away from the idea that makes it laugh. If it is crying, the same thing may be done: to divert the child’s attention from the object, the thought, or the condition which makes it cry, and in this way to bring about a balance in its life.
幼兒還有另一種傾向，那就是在成長過程中，他會有各式各樣的情緒變化。有些日子他特別有愛，有些日子則沒有那麼有愛；有些日子他較像天使，有些日子則沒有那麼像天使；他的情緒就是這樣不斷變化。在這個階段，最需要小心的是，去引導並調節孩子的這些情緒，而不是把自己的意志過度強加在他身上。比方說，如果幼兒特別傾向哭、笑、破壞東西，或不停玩耍，最好的方法就是把他的注意力轉向別的事物。若他笑得過頭了，就該把他的注意力引到某件能使他的頭腦保持忙碌、讓他更平衡、並把他從那個惹他發笑的念頭中帶開的事上。若他在哭，也可以做同樣的事：把孩子的注意力從那個令他哭泣的對象、念頭或情況上轉開；如此，便能在他的生命中帶來平衡。
Is there any place in the life of a baby for religion? The answer is that the best opportunity to sow the seed of religion is in babyhood, because it is at that time that the angelic quality is fresh and the jinn quality is beginning to develop. And in what way should one teach the child religion? The ancient lesson of the God-ideal, which all the prophets and teachers have given and which will always prove to be the best lesson there is, is to give the child the idea of God: God of goodness, God of beauty, God of compassion, God of love, God of harmony. If in any child there is a spiritual tendency, it will show even from the age of five years. Love for prayer for instance, love for the God-ideal; the feeling for something sacred, a reverence for something religious, it might seem that this was already there, that the child was born with it.
宗教在幼兒的生命中有沒有位置呢？答案是：在幼兒期播下宗教種子的機會是最好的，因為那時天使性的特質仍然新鮮，而精靈的特質也正開始發展。那麼，應當如何教孩子宗教呢？歷代所有先知與教師都曾給出、而且永遠都會證明是最佳功課的那個古老教導，就是把神的理念給孩子：良善之神、美麗之神、慈悲之神、愛之神、和諧之神。若某個孩子裡面有靈性的傾向，那麼從五歲起便會顯現出來。例如，他會喜愛祈禱、喜愛神的理念；他會對某些神聖之物有所感受，對宗教性的事物抱有敬意；彷彿這一切早已存在於他裡面，彷彿這孩子生來就帶著它。
Sometimes the religious, devotional, and spiritual attributes are distinctly seen in a child who is growing from infancy to childhood. The spiritual tendency is inborn, and when it shows itself in a child one should know that the child has brought it from above. The child is very often more responsive to the God-ideal than a grown-up person; because the grown-up person, by being absorbed in the things of the world, has lost the idea of God. He has the world before him. The child has not yet the world before him; and therefore the child is more capable of conceiving the thought of God than a grown-up person. And if this opportunity is lost, then when they are grown-up they feel that something is missing in their life, and they think, “If only I had known about God, it would have been much better.” But now it is too late; now it is difficult for them to conceive the thought of God, because the seed was not sown at the right time.
有時候，在一個正從嬰兒期長向兒童期的孩子身上，可以很清楚地看見宗教性、奉獻性與靈性的特質。靈性的傾向是與生俱來的；當它在一個孩子身上顯現時，人便應當明白，這孩子是從上方把它帶下來的。孩子往往比成人更能回應神的理念；因為成人被世間事物所吸引，已失落了對神的觀念。他眼前所看見的是世界；而孩子眼前尚未擺著整個世界，因此孩子比成人更有能力去領會神的思想。若這個機會失去了，那麼等他長大成人之後，便會覺得自己生命中少了什麼，並想著：「如果我從前知道神，那就好了。」但那時往往已經太遲；那時要他再去領會神的思想，便變得困難，因為種子並沒有在合適的時候播下。
There are numberless souls who, because their parents have not given them the idea of God, find it most difficult to conceive it; and at the same time their soul is constantly seeking for it. But the guardian must be most careful that he does not sow the seed of bigotry with the religious ideal. If he does this, then a great harm is done to the child. By bigotry is meant this: first there is a time when a person believes in God, and that is a very blessed time; and when he is more evolved in the worldly life then he fights for his Church, that is then his main idea; and when he is still more evolved, then he despises other creeds. And so a person evolves higher and higher; it is that evolution which is called bigotry. If a child is impressed from its childhood by that spirit, then the main object is defeated. The main object of religion is to elevate the child to the higher ideal; and that can be done by giving it the key of religion, and that key is the God ideal.
有無數的靈魂，因為父母沒有把神的理念給他們，所以發現自己極難去領會它；然而同時，他們的靈魂又一直在尋找它。但監護人必須非常小心，不可在宗教理念中同時播下偏狹之心的種子。若這樣做，便會對孩子造成極大的傷害。所謂偏狹，是指這樣一種情況：首先，一個人有一段時期相信神，而那是一段極其蒙福的時期；接著，當他在世俗生活中發展得更多時，他便開始為自己的教會而戰，那成了他的主要觀念；再當他更進一步「發展」時，他就開始輕視其他信仰。於是一個人就這樣愈來愈「高」地發展，而這種發展便叫作偏狹。如果孩子從小就受到這種靈的影響，那麼宗教最主要的目的便被破壞了。宗教真正的目的，是要把孩子提升到更高的理想；而這只有藉著把宗教的鑰匙交給他才能做到，而那把鑰匙就是神的理念。
The guardian must also endeavor not to give the child heavier food than it can digest in the form of religion. Very often there are guardians filled with a philosophical idea, with a special idea of religion, with an ethical conception of religion, who wish to inspire the child at that age. But in this way they do harm; because instead of giving the first lesson they have perhaps given a lesson which is too advanced for the child, and it is all lost. It is just like giving too much water to a growing plant which dies because of the flood of water that it cannot absorb. There are very many guardians who talk philosophically to a baby, because their philosophical conception is so overpowering that they think it must be poured out on the child; but if the child is too full of it, then it will only forget it. We must become children with the child in order to bring it up. We must speak in its own language, and we must only give it what it can understand.
監護人也必須努力避免，在宗教上給孩子吃下超過他所能消化的沉重食物。很多監護人自己充滿某種哲學思想、某種特殊的宗教觀念、某種宗教倫理的理解，便希望在那個年紀去啟發孩子。但這樣做反而是在傷害他；因為他們不是給了孩子最初的課程，而可能是給了一堂對孩子而言太過高深的課，而結果就是全部落空。這就像給一株正在生長的植物澆了太多水，因它無法吸收那樣的水量，反而被水淹死。許多監護人對幼兒講起哲學來，是因為他們自己的哲學觀念太強烈了，覺得非得傾倒在孩子身上不可；但如果孩子被灌得太滿，他最終只會把它忘掉。為了撫育孩子，我們必須與孩子一同成為孩子。我們必須說他的語言，也只該給他所能理解的東西。
Once a nurse came to me and said, “This child asks wonderful questions, and I cannot answer them.” I said, “What are the questions?” She replied, “When this child was going to say its evening prayer before going to bed, it asked me, “If God is in heaven, up in heaven, then why must I bow low to the earth?”” The nurse was very perplexed; she did not know how to answer; but if this child had not been answered, from that moment its belief would have gone, because that is the time when the soul is beginning to inquire into life and its mystery. I asked the child, “What did you say?” The child explained it to me, and I said, “Yes, God is in heaven, but where are His feet? On the earth. By bending towards the earth, you are touching His feet.” That gave it the explanation that although the head of God is in heaven, the feet of God are on the earth; and therefore touching the earth is touching the feet of God. It was quite satisfied.
有一次，一位保姆來對我說：「這孩子會問一些很奇妙的問題，而我答不出來。」我說：「是什麼問題呢？」她回答說：「這孩子睡前要做晚禱時，問我：『如果神在天上，在高高的天上，那我為什麼還要向著地面低頭鞠躬呢？』」保姆十分困惑，不知道該怎麼回答；但如果這孩子當時沒有得到回答，那麼從那一刻起，他的信念就會開始動搖，因為那正是靈魂開始探問生命及其奧祕的時候。我便問孩子：「你剛才說了什麼？」孩子向我解釋後，我就對他說：「是的，神在天上，可是祂的腳在哪裡呢？在地上。當你向著地面彎下身去時，你就是在碰觸祂的腳。」這給了他一個解釋：雖然神的頭在天上，但祂的腳在地上；因此，碰觸大地，就是碰觸神的腳。孩子便完全滿足了。
Very often children are on the point of losing their belief because their belief is just like a young plant, a little seedling that comes out of the earth; and if this is not well guarded, it can be destroyed in a moment. Therefore one must be most careful. It does not matter if a grown-up person has a belief today and gives it up tomorrow. It does not matter because his belief was nothing. But a child’s belief is different. A child’s belief is something serious. It has no doubt; what it believes, it believes seriously; and therefore its belief is real belief. If that belief is destroyed it is a great pity and a great loss.
孩子往往就在快要失去信念的邊緣，因為他們的信念就像一株剛從土裡冒出來的小苗；若沒有被好好守護，轉瞬之間便可能被摧毀。因此，人必須極其小心。成人今天有一種信念，明天又放棄了，這並不重要；因為他的信念原本就算不得什麼。但孩子的信念卻不同。孩子的信念是一件很嚴肅的事。他沒有懷疑；他所相信的，就是認真地相信；因此，他的信念是真實的信念。若這樣的信念被摧毀，那會是極大的可惜，也是極大的損失。
A child one day came to its guardian very perplexed because a boy had said to it, “Do you believe in Santa Claus? If you do then it is not right, because there never was such a being as Santa Claus.” This child was very disappointed, because it had just written a letter to Santa Claus before Christmas. And in its great despair it came to the guardian to ask, “Is it true that Santa Claus exists, or is it not true?” Now suppose the guardian had said, “It is true”, then in four or five years” time the child would have come and said, “No, it is not true”; and if he had said, “No, it is not true”, then all the child’s belief would have been totally destroyed. It would have been completely changed if the guardian had said, “It is not true.” That would have rooted out, just by saying no, all the innocent religious belief from the heart of that child. But the guardian said to it, “Remember, all that the mind can conceive exists. If it does not exist on the physical plane, it exists in the sphere of mind. So never say it does not exist. To the one who says that it does not exist, say that it exists in the sphere of mind”; and the child was very impressed by this answer.
有一天，一個孩子滿懷困惑地來找監護人，因為有個男孩對他說：「你相信聖誕老人嗎？如果你相信，那就不對了，因為世界上從來沒有聖誕老人這樣的存在。」這孩子非常失望，因為他才剛在耶誕節前寫了一封信給聖誕老人。於是在極大的沮喪中，他跑來問監護人：「聖誕老人的存在是真的嗎？還是不是真的？」現在，假設監護人回答：「是真的。」那麼四、五年後，孩子就會跑來說：「不，這不是真的。」而如果監護人回答：「不，這不是真的。」那麼孩子整個信念都會被徹底摧毀。若監護人只簡單地說一句「這不是真的」，就會把那孩子心中一切純真的宗教性信念連根拔除。但監護人對他說的是：「記住，凡是頭腦所能構想的，都存在。若它不在物質層面上存在，那它便存在於頭腦的領域裡。所以，永遠不要說它不存在。若有人說它不存在，你就告訴他，它存在於頭腦的層界中。」孩子對這個回答留下了非常深刻的印象。
A child can remember such an answer all its life. If the child evolved so that it could touch the heavens, it would still believe it. Never in life need it say, “I do not believe it”, and at the same time this is a belief that is tangible. It can never say, “It does not exist, it is not real.” It can say, “It is real”, both as a child and as a grown-up person.
孩子能夠一生都記得這樣的回答。即使這孩子後來發展到能觸及天上的境界，他仍然可以相信它。他一生都不必說出「我不相信它」這句話；同時，這又是一種可觸及的信念。他永遠不必說：「它不存在，它不是真的。」他可以說：「它是真的。」無論作為孩子，或作為長大後的成人，都能如此說。
It is best to keep the child ignorant of all stories of ghosts as long as one can. Ghost stories impress a child and interest it very much, and by this its mind goes in another direction, a direction which is not suitable for it. The best thing is always to avoid conversation about ghosts and spirits, and also about the devil. And the best way of avoiding it is to turn it into a joke. A witty answer that will turn the mind of the child from the idea of ghosts to a joke would be the best thing. But at the same time to say there is no such thing as a ghost or devil is taking upon oneself a very great responsibility; it is denying something which is written in the Bible and in other scriptures, and could make a child an unbeliever, so that when it grows up it will not believe in anything.
最好是盡可能讓孩子不要接觸任何鬼故事。鬼故事對孩子的印象很深，也很能引起他的興趣，而這會使他的頭腦走向另一個方向，一個並不適合他的方向。最好的方式，總是避免談論鬼魂、亡靈、以及魔鬼。而避免的最好方法，就是把這件事化作玩笑。一個機智的回答，若能把孩子的頭腦從鬼魂的想法轉到玩笑上去，那便是最好的處理方式。但同時，若直接說世上根本沒有鬼或魔鬼，那等於是替自己承擔了一項非常大的責任；因為這是在否定《聖經》和其他經典中所記載的事，也可能使一個孩子成為不信者，以致他長大後什麼都不再相信。
It is essential that in childhood a religious teaching be given. If the guardian is not able to discuss religion with the child, it is better not to try but to give the child the habit of sitting in silence for a moment, and thinking about the higher ideal, God.
在童年時期給予宗教性的教導，是非常必要的。若監護人無法與孩子談論宗教，那麼最好不要勉強，而是讓孩子養成一個習慣：靜靜坐一會兒，想著那更高的理想，也就是神。
The way of Christ was to give humanity the ideal of God, God as the heavenly Father. And what was the reason? The reason was that it is conceivable. Even a child can understand that idea: Father, heavenly Father, the real Father. Besides, all the different names that the prophets and teachers have given to God are really not appropriate; it was only to make people understand. Their minds could only conceive those names: the Judge, or the Creator, or the Supreme Being, or the King of the Day of Judgment. They are not the names of God; all names given are not the names of God. God cannot be limited to those names; they are too small for God. Yet at the same time it is the best one can do to make the ideal of God as concrete to the mind as possible. What strength, what a help it is for the child to think from early childhood that there is a Friend unknown, unseen; to be able to say, “There is Someone who hears my prayers. Someone who in my troubles and difficulties can be with me, Someone whose blessing I ask, Someone who protects me, Someone who is like my mother and my father and yet unknown, unseen.” Even if the child is not able to make it clear to itself, yet unconsciously it will feel it like a support from within. It will feel that it can stand with that support, a support so great that at all times, whether the child has its parents or not, in all conditions it can feel, “There is Someone who is always there with me.” And if this ideal is built from childhood by wise guardians, it helps the child for its whole life.
基督的道路，是把神的理想給予人類，把神顯示為天上的父。為什麼呢？因為這是可以被理解的。即使是孩子，也能懂得這個觀念：父，天上的父，真正的父。此外，先知與教師們給神的各種不同名號，其實都並不真正恰當；那些只是為了讓人能夠理解罷了。人的頭腦只能領會那樣的名稱：審判者、創造者、至高存在、審判日的君王。那些都不是神真正的名字；所有被給出的名字，都不是神的名字。神不能被侷限在那些名稱裡；它們對神來說都太小了。然而同時，為了盡可能讓神的理想在頭腦中變得具體，這已是人所能做到最好的方式了。對一個孩子而言，從很小的時候便想到：有一位看不見、也不為人所知的朋友存在，這是多麼大的力量、多麼大的幫助；讓他能夠說：「有一位在聽我的祈禱。有一位在我困難與患難中能與我同在。有一位是我所祈求其祝福的。有一位保護著我。有一位像我的母親與父親，卻又是未知、不可見的。」即使孩子自己無法把這一切說得清楚，他在無意識中仍會感到，這像是一種由內而來的支撐。他會感到自己可以憑著這份支撐站立；那是一份如此偉大的支撐，使他無論是否擁有父母，無論在何種境況中，都能感到：「總有一位與我同在。」而如果這樣的理想，從小便由有智慧的監護人建立在孩子心中，那麼它將幫助孩子一生。
ii
The guardian need not be discouraged to find obstinacy and temper and selfishness in the little child. He must know that either the baby has inherited it or it is the result of some defect in its physical health, and it must be treated most wisely. Fire is increased by fire, and the plant of temper is watered by anger. The more the guardian reacts, the more he will encourage that tendency in the baby. To become annoyed with the child who is in a temper is to fan the spark of anger in it. The best way is first to get the baby to respond to him, and then with that response to make it act according to the will of the guardian.
當監護人在小孩子身上發現固執、脾氣與自私時，不必因此灰心。他必須明白，這要不是孩子承襲而來的，要不就是某種身體健康缺陷所造成的結果，因此必須以極有智慧的方式來對待。火只會使火更旺，怒氣這株植物也只會被憤怒澆灌得更加茁壯。監護人反應越強烈，就越是在鼓勵幼兒身上的那種傾向。當孩子正在發脾氣時，若你對他感到惱怒，就是在替他心中的怒火煽風。最好的方法，是先讓幼兒對你有所回應，然後藉著這份回應，使他照著監護人的意志行動。
If the obstinacy of a baby can be directed to its own advantage, then it can be benefited by the obstinacy. Obstinacy can be very useful; for most of the great people in this world have become great by a certain obstinacy in their character, because obstinacy is a strength and a power in itself. An obstinate businessman can be successful, an obstinate warrior can win, an obstinate politician can accomplish his purpose, an obstinate industrialist can accomplish great kings. Obstinacy, therefore, if rightly directed, can be of great use. One only needs to mold the mind of the child in such a direction that its obstinacy may become fruitful. It is the obstinate child who will sit and finish a task that is given to it; if it had not that obstinacy it would not do it. Sometimes from obstinacy comes the spirit of rivalry, and very often the spirit of rivalry becomes the means to success.
如果幼兒的固執能被引導到對他自己有益的方向，那麼他便能從這份固執中受益。固執其實非常有用；因為這世上多數偉大的人，之所以能成為偉大的人，正是因為性格中有某種固執，因為固執本身就是一種力量、一種權能。固執的商人能成功，固執的戰士能得勝，固執的政治家能達成他的目的，固執的實業家能成就偉大的事業。因此，固執若被正確引導，便能有極大的用處。人所需要做的，只是把孩子的頭腦塑造成某個方向，使他的固執能結出果實。正是那個固執的孩子，會坐下來把交給他的工作做完；若沒有那份固執，他反而做不到。有時，競爭的精神也是從固執而來，而競爭的精神又常常成為通向成功的工具。
Manners are most important, and especially at four and five years of age the lessons of manners must be given. The first lesson to be taught is knowing when to come near and be loving, and when to sit quiet and obedient in the presence of the guardian. If the guardian is showing affection to the baby all the time the baby becomes spoiled. There must be change. There must be a time when the child is loved; it requires love, love is its sustenance; but there is another time when the child must be obedient; it must sit or stand or do something that it is told to do; and at that time there is no display of tenderness.
禮儀極其重要，尤其在四歲、五歲時，更必須教導禮儀的功課。首先要教的是：知道什麼時候可以靠近並表達親愛，什麼時候則要在監護人面前安靜、順從地坐著。如果監護人無時無刻都對幼兒表示親暱，孩子便會被寵壞。這裡必須有變化。孩子需要有被愛的時候；他需要愛，愛是他的滋養；但也有另一種時候，孩子必須順從；他必須坐下、站好，或去做被吩咐要做的事；而在那個時候，就不應該表現出溺愛的溫柔。
There is one thing that must be taught from babyhood, and that is not to argue. If that tendency is not suppressed from babyhood, it will grow unconsciously perhaps and afterwards the guardian will find it most disagreeable. A person in whom this tendency is not checked from childhood will show insolence in some form or other, no matter how good the manners he learned afterwards. Also, if the child contradicts it should always be checked, even to the extent that the guardian may say to the child, “As you are young you do not know enough. Even if to you it appears wrong, there is some right in it. You do not know and therefore you may not contradict; and you may not contradict your guardian before others. If you think that your guardians are wrong, when the others are gone you may come to your guardians and say, “That was not right, what you said”; but you may not say it before others, because you do not know enough about what your guardian has said. There may be some reason in it.” When you have said this to the baby once or twice or thrice it understands. A child is easier to work with than grown-up people.
有一件事必須從幼兒期就教起，那就是不要爭辯。若這個傾向沒有從幼兒期就受到抑制，它也許會在無意識中長大，之後監護人便會發現它極其令人難受。一個人若從小沒有被制止這種傾向，不論他後來學會了多麼好的禮儀，仍會以某種形式表現出無禮與頂撞。而且，若孩子反駁，也應當總是被糾正，甚至監護人可以對他說：「因為你年紀還小，你懂得還不夠。即使對你來說它看起來不對，其中也可能有它對的地方。你還不明白，因此你不可以反駁；而且你也不可以在別人面前反駁你的監護人。如果你覺得監護人錯了，等別人走了之後，你可以來對你的監護人說：『你剛剛那樣說不對。』但你不可以在別人面前這樣說，因為你還不足以明白監護人所說之事，其中也許自有理由。」當你對幼兒說過一次、兩次、三次之後，他就會懂。孩子其實比成人更容易教導。
At the same time the baby should be inspired with the spirit of self-respect. There may be something delicious on the table, something attractive in the room, something beautiful within its reach, there may be some gold and silver coins lying loose in its presence, but its natural tendency of taking them, of losing them, of breaking them, of spoiling them, must be checked. And how must it be checked? The baby must not think that it is forced to keep away from what attracts it, but it must feel that it is self respect not to look at it; that it is glad to take its eyes away from the sweet that is on the table, that it feels a great pride and honor to think that it will not even look at it. That teaches the baby patience; and its self-respect gives it more joy than even the sweet and the toy would give it, because it touches its very being; it wakens the soul when the child feels pride in refusing something that in its heart it is attracted to. This does not mean that the baby should be denied all that is good and beautiful. No, it must be taught that when something is given, it can be accepted; but when it is not given, then the baby must be proud enough to control itself.
同時，也應當把自重的靈感啟發到幼兒裡面。桌上可能放著可口的東西，房間裡可能有吸引人的東西，手可及之處可能有美麗之物，甚至在他面前可能散放著一些金銀硬幣；但他那種自然地伸手去拿、去弄丟、去打壞、去糟蹋的傾向，必須被制止。那麼，該如何制止呢？幼兒不應覺得自己是被強迫遠離那些吸引他的東西；而是應該感到：不去看它，是出於自重；把目光從桌上的糖果移開，對他來說是一件樂意的事；想到自己甚至連看都不看一眼，他應當感到一種榮耀與驕傲。這會教導幼兒耐心；而他的自重，會帶給他比糖果與玩具更大的喜悅，因為這觸及了他最深的存在；當孩子對自己能拒絕那心裡其實被吸引之物而感到驕傲時，靈魂便被喚醒了。這並不是說，幼兒應當被拒絕一切美好與美麗之物。不，必須教導他：當某樣東西被給予時，他可以接受；但當它沒有被給予時，幼兒就必須有足夠的自尊來控制自己。
The child must be taught not to be over-enthusiastic about anything that appeals to it, whether it is a sweet, a toy, or something beautiful; it must be taught not to show too great an appreciation. Because it is a humiliation, it is making oneself small before the object that one is enthusiastic about. The baby must be too proud to be enthusiastic. And remember that a baby will begin to appreciate this, if not in the beginning, then a little later. Self control gives the child such a feeling of power and satisfaction that it begins to enjoy it.
孩子必須被教導，不要對任何吸引他的東西表現得過分興奮，無論那是一顆糖、一個玩具，還是某樣美麗的東西；他必須學著不要表現出太大的讚嘆。因為那其實是一種自我貶低，是在自己所熱衷的對象面前，把自己縮小了。幼兒應當高貴到不至於過度興奮。請記得，孩子終究會開始欣賞這一點，即使不是一開始，也會稍後領會。自制會給孩子一種力量與滿足感，強烈到使他開始喜歡它。
A child must be checked in the feeling, “You have taken more than I”, or “My little brother, or my little sister, has received more than was given to me.” That must be stopped. It must not judge; it must appreciate it if the little brother or sister has got more; it must be glad. It will not be glad naturally, but if it is taught then it will be glad; it will enjoy being glad. Virtues are virtues because they give. Joy once they are practiced. If a virtue does not give joy, it is not a virtue.
當孩子生出「你拿得比我多」或「我的弟弟、妹妹得到的比我多」這種感覺時，必須立刻加以制止。這種傾向必須被停止。孩子不該去論斷；如果弟弟或妹妹得到了更多，他應當學著欣賞這件事，並且感到高興。他自然不會高興，但若他被教導，他便會高興；而且他會享受那份高興。德行之所以是德行，正因為一旦實踐，它就會帶來喜悅。若一種德行不能帶來喜悅，那它就不是德行。
Very often guardians do not attach importance to what toys they give the baby to play with. There are certain toys which have the effect of making it lazy; there are certain toys which will make it confused, or which will bring about stupidity, or make the child irritable or timid. Unconsciously they have that effect upon the child. Besides, playing with certain toys does not bring any benefit. When we think that every moment of babyhood is so precious in the life of the soul, and that this soul is to be denied something that can add to its progress, it seems a great pity.
很多監護人並不重視自己給幼兒玩的玩具究竟是什麼。有些玩具會使孩子變得懶散；有些玩具會使他混亂、遲鈍，或令孩子變得易怒、膽怯。它們就在無意識中對孩子造成這樣的影響。而且，有些玩具本身並不能帶來任何益處。當我們想到，幼兒期的每一刻對靈魂的生命都是如此珍貴，而這個靈魂卻被剝奪了那些能促進其成長的事物，這實在令人惋惜。
There must be discrimination even in choosing toys, as to what toy will inspire the children and help them, and will elevate their souls. There are many meaningless toys with horrible faces, horrible toys with nothing beautiful about them. The child likes them because it likes anything. Sometimes a child likes a doll without arms or legs. But we must give the child toys which are finished and not without arms or legs.
甚至在選擇玩具時，也必須有所分辨，要知道哪一種玩具能啟發孩子、幫助孩子，並提升他們的靈魂。有許多毫無意義的玩具，帶著可怕的面孔，毫無美感可言。孩子喜歡它們，只是因為孩子對什麼都會喜歡。有時候，孩子甚至喜歡一個缺手缺腳的娃娃。但我們應當給孩子的是完整的玩具，而不是斷手斷腳的玩具。
Sometimes it likes horrible toys most. For instance, what does a teddy-bear do to the child? Does it inspire the child, does it elevate its soul? It does nothing. On the contrary, it gives to the receptive mind of the child the impression of an animal, which is not good. Very often there are toys which give no inspiration, which have no action, and therefore have a confusing effect upon the child. One gives the child a teddy-bear because one thinks that it likes it. But why must we give something to the child because the child likes it? A friendship with a bear!
有時候，孩子最喜歡的反而是那些可怕的玩具。舉例來說，泰迪熊能對孩子做什麼呢？它能啟發孩子嗎？能提升他的靈魂嗎？什麼都不能。相反地，它只是把一種動物的印象給了孩子那容易接受的頭腦，而這並不好。很多玩具既不能帶來啟發，也沒有任何作用，因此反而會對孩子造成混亂的影響。人們給孩子泰迪熊，只因為覺得孩子喜歡它。但為什麼孩子喜歡，我們就非得給他呢？難道要和一隻熊做朋友嗎？
There is much else to occupy one’s mind. Besides, there are certain toys which give no exercise to the mind and no inspiration to the child, and that makes it lazy. Anything constructive is good. For instance, a train that runs, or an instrument that sounds, that is good for a child, or anything that it can construct with, as the pieces of a puzzle that a child can make a picture from, or the little bricks and pillars and different things from which it can make a house or something else; all such toys are good. In short every toy must be constructive, must lead to some purpose; that should be the guiding principle.
還有許多更值得讓頭腦去關注的事物。此外，有些玩具既不能鍛鍊頭腦，也不能啟發孩子，這只會使他變得懶散。凡是具有建構性的東西，都是好的。比方說，會跑的火車、會發聲的樂器，都對孩子有益；或者任何能讓他動手建造的東西，例如拼圖的碎片，可以讓孩子拼成一幅圖畫；或者小磚塊、小柱子，以及各種能讓他蓋出房子或其他東西的材料，這一類玩具都是好的。總之，每一樣玩具都應當具有建構性，都應當導向某種天命或目的；這應當成為指導原則。
It is not very good for the child to play with animals. If the child can have a kind feeling towards the animal it is quite enough; because every association has its special effect on the child. And very often the tendency of the guardian is to think that the child likes the animal very much. That may be so, but it is not good for the child; from a psychological point of view it is sometimes bad for it.
讓孩子和動物玩得太密切，並不是很好的事。孩子若能對動物懷有善意的感情，這就夠了；因為每一種接觸關係，都會對孩子產生它特殊的影響。而監護人往往傾向於認為，孩子非常喜歡那動物，所以這樣很好。也許確實如此，但這對孩子未必有益；從心理學的角度來看，有時反而對他不好。
Boys” toys should not be given to girls, neither should girls” toys be given to boys. If boys get accustomed to playing with the toys of girls, then their mind goes in another direction; and it is the same with girls. It is better that the girl has her own toys and the boy his own toys. Both must have toys appropriate for them, and very often guardians do not discriminate between them.
男孩子的玩具不該給女孩子玩，女孩子的玩具也不該給男孩子玩。如果男孩習慣玩女孩的玩具，他的頭腦便會朝另一個方向發展；女孩也是一樣。最好是女孩有她自己的玩具，男孩有他自己的玩具。兩者都應擁有適合自己的玩具，而監護人往往沒有在這裡作出分辨。
One may wonder if it is bad for children to play with tin soldiers. Yes, it is, because it develops a tendency towards fighting. But it is a delicate and very subtle question, and one must not lay down rules about it. What a terrible thing it would be if as a child a person did not play with bow and arrows and sword or anything that is soldier-like, and then when he was twenty-one years of age, the country called him to defend it and he knew nothing about warfare, for he had never received any preparation for it! And another question arises: when the whole nation is ready for war and there is one youth, perhaps, who feels, “I will not go because I am not in agreement with the principle”, it is his right to disagree with the principle, but at the same time he is willing to accept the order and peace that is maintained by the nation, to share all the privileges of being a member of the nation.
有人可能會問，讓孩子玩錫兵是不是不好？是的，因為那會培養一種朝向爭戰的傾向。但這是一個細膩而非常微妙的問題，人不該對它訂下僵硬的規則。試想，若一個人小時候從未玩過弓箭、刀劍，或任何像士兵那樣的東西，到了二十一歲時，國家召喚他去保衛它，而他卻對戰爭一無所知，因為他從來沒有接受過任何準備，那將是多麼麻煩的一件事！於是另一個問題也出現了：當整個國家都準備戰爭時，也許有一位青年覺得：「我不同意這個原則，所以我不去。」他當然有權不同意這個原則；但同時，他卻願意接受國家所維持的秩序與和平，也享受身為國家一員的一切權利與利益。
He shares them, but he refuses what the majority wants him to do. It is against his principle certainly; but what the majority wishes him to do he refuses although he does not refuse the privileges. If he refuses the privileges also it is different. If he does like the sages, if he goes away from the country and stays in solitude under the shade of a tree, it is different. If he does not want money, if he says, “I do not compete with you; I do not want to have any benefit from your progress in life; I do not keep any money that a thief can steal from me, for which I might then have to come to your court”, then it is different. But if a person is ready to share all privileges that belong to the country, and then when the need of defence comes says, “It is against my principle”, that is quite another matter. Never think that this means standing up for war. But at the same time let the little boys be capable of everything.
他享受這些，卻拒絕去做多數人要他做的事。這當然與他的原則相違；但他拒絕多數人要他做的事，卻沒有拒絕那些權利。若他連這些權利也一併拒絕，那就不同了。若他像智者那樣離開國家，獨自在樹蔭下過隱居生活，那就不同了。若他不要金錢，若他說：「我不與你們競爭；我不想從你們生命進步的成果中得到任何利益；我不保留任何會被盜賊偷走、使我之後還得去你們法庭申訴的財物。」那就不同了。但若一個人準備好分享一切屬於國家的利益，而當防衛的需要來到時卻說：「這違背我的原則。」那就是另一回事了。千萬不要以為這是在主張戰爭。但同時，也要讓小男孩有能力面對一切。
Every little manner that is sweet in the child, every good little tendency it shows, should be emphasized and appreciated. One must not take it silently. Never think that by showing the child appreciation it will become conceited. No, the child will be encouraged. It will be just like watering a plant when you appreciate anything that is nice in the manner of a baby. And there is never a time in one’s whole life when one appreciates a word of praise so much as when one is a baby. The child really appreciates it and is encouraged to do the same again.
孩子身上每一個可愛的小舉止，每一個美好的小傾向，都應當被強調並受到欣賞。人不應默默略過它。千萬不要以為，表達欣賞會使孩子變得自大。不，孩子反而會受到鼓勵。當你欣賞幼兒某個美好的舉止時，那就像是在給植物澆水一樣。而且，一個人一生中，再沒有哪個時候會像幼兒期那樣，如此珍惜一句讚美的話。孩子真的會感受到那份欣賞，並因而受到鼓勵，再次去做同樣的事。
Then there is the question of blame. When the child has done anything wrong, the first thing is to reason with it, to convince it. And if it is not convinced at once, then try a second time, and then a third, a fourth. Never be disappointed, even if one has to try ten times to convince the baby by argument.
接著是責備的問題。當孩子做錯了什麼事時，第一件事是和他講理，說服他。若他沒有立刻被說服，那就再試第二次、第三次、第四次。即使必須試上十次，用道理去說服幼兒，也不要灰心。
Very often a guardian thinks it is too much waste of time to argue with a baby who does not understand; it is more easily done when one scolds and finishes with it. But that does not finish it. Much scolding blunts the spirit of the child. The spirit of the child must be kept so fine and so sharp that the slightest glance could make it feel hurt. But if one scolds the child all the time, it blunts its spirit, and the child becomes worse and worse.
監護人常常認為，和一個聽不懂的幼兒講道理太浪費時間，不如責罵一頓，事情就算結束了。但那其實並沒有真正結束。過多的責罵會使孩子的靈變得遲鈍。孩子的靈必須被保持得如此細緻、如此敏銳，以致於一個最輕微的眼神都能讓他感受到；但若總是不斷責罵孩子，就會使他的靈變得麻木，而孩子也會愈來愈糟。
Never for one moment imagine that the child will not take in your reasoning. If not the first time, it will take it in the second or the third time. One must continue to reason with the child; and by doing so the guardian brings the child closer to his spirit, because the child feels a friendship between itself and the guardian. By reasoning one draws the child nearer to one’s own spirit. And if the child does not listen to the reasoning and the guardian has reasoned for many days, then the next thing to try is temptation; to tempt it with a sweet, with a flower, with something that it likes, with love, with appreciation; to say, “You have done right”, “Now you have done it nicely, and I will give you a toy,” “I shall give you a sweet if you will do it.” Show appreciation, tempt to do right. This is the next step. It is preferable that the child should learn with reasoning; but if not, then a reward must make it listen.
千萬不要有片刻認為，孩子不會吸收你的道理。若不是第一次聽進去，他也會在第二次或第三次聽進去。人必須持續與孩子講理；而這樣做時，監護人其實是在把孩子帶近自己的靈，因為孩子會感受到自己與監護人之間有一種友誼。透過講理，人便把孩子拉近到自己的靈裡。若孩子仍不聽道理，而監護人也已經連續講了許多天，那麼下一步可以嘗試的是引導性的誘惑；用糖果、花朵、他喜歡的東西、愛，或欣賞來引導他；對他說：「你做得對。」「現在你做得很好了，我會給你一個玩具。」「如果你願意這樣做，我就給你一顆糖。」要表達欣賞，用這樣的方式引導他去做對的事。這是下一個步驟。最好當然是孩子能透過講理而學會；但若不行，那麼就必須藉著獎賞讓他聽進去。
If even a reward is not enough, then the third way is scolding, punishment. But scolding must be short. The scolding must be in the voice, in the way it is said. It must not be hard, nor must it be harsh. There must be a certain tone that the child at once realizes is scolding. One must avoid scolding as much as one can, but if one cannot help it then that is the third way. There is a wrong method which guardians very often adopt, perhaps in the East more than in the West, and that is to frighten a child by saying some bogey is coming or something like that; if it continues to be naughty something will come to frighten it, a ghost or a spirit. That is the worst thing that one could do to a child, because every such shock takes away a great deal from the enthusiasm of its spirit to progress. It hampers the progress of the soul to be frightened by anything.
若連獎賞都不夠，那麼第三種方法才是責罵與懲罰。但責罵必須短促。責罵要表現在聲音裡、表現在說話的方式裡。它不能太重，也不能太粗魯。必須有一種特定的語氣，使孩子一聽就知道這是在責備。人應當盡可能避免責罵，但若實在無法避免，那才是第三條路。有一種錯誤的方法，監護人很常採用，也許東方比西方更常見，那就是用「有可怕的東西要來了」之類的話去嚇孩子；若他繼續淘氣，就會有某種東西來嚇他，一個鬼或一個亡靈。這是對孩子最糟糕的做法，因為每一次這樣的驚嚇，都會從他那渴望成長的靈裡奪走許多熱情。被任何事物嚇到，都會妨礙靈魂的成長。
iii
Very often a stubborn child who does not listen and who does not change, by being asked to turn around three times changes its point of view at once. If one wants to make the child feel more deeply, if one tells the proud child to go and stand in the corner with its back turned to everybody, it really feels hurt. One can also ask it to go out of the room and stand outside the door. That hurts the child still more.
很多時候，一個固執、不聽話、也不肯改變的孩子，只要叫他轉三個圈，他的觀點立刻就會改變。若一個人想讓孩子感受得更深一點，對那個驕傲的孩子說，要他去角落站著，背對所有人，那他確實會感到受傷。也可以要他走出房間，站在門外。那會讓孩子感到更難受。
Is it right to punish a child? Punishment is natural. Every soul is punished in some way or other. For everything one does there is a punishment; it is the law of nature. The law of life has punishment just the same. But punishment for the child must be gentle. It is better to avoid a severe punishment, but rather to give a little mental punishment, which makes the child realize that it is being punished. Suppose one told the child to go from one place to another five times or ten times; in point of fact, walking up and down can be an enjoyment for the child, but by the very fact that you have given it as a punishment the child does not like it. The feeling, “I am punished”, in itself corrects it. In order to punish you do not need to torture a child; you only need make it realize that it is being punished. That is quite enough.
懲罰孩子是對的嗎？懲罰是自然的。每一個靈魂都以某種方式受懲罰。人所做的每一件事，都有其懲罰；這是自然的法則。生命的法則同樣包含懲罰。但對孩子的懲罰必須是溫和的。最好避免嚴厲的懲罰，而是給予一點心理上的懲罰，讓孩子意識到自己正在受罰。假如要孩子在兩個地方之間走五次或十次，事實上，來回走動對孩子本來也許是一種樂趣；但就因為你把它當作懲罰給了他，孩子就不喜歡了。「我正在受罰」這個感受本身，就足以糾正他。要懲罰孩子，並不需要折磨他；你只需要讓他知道自己正在受懲罰，這就夠了。
Sometimes guardians think it is necessary to slap a child, to slap its face. Slapping is sometimes dangerous, because there are veins and delicate organs in the forehead and on the temples, and slapping could cause a condition which though not manifest at the time, might become so after twenty or forty years. And therefore instead of slapping it is far better to tweak the ears. Punishment has a very bad effect when it blunts the sharpness of the child’s spirit. Very often punishment may work with the child, but in some way or other it blunts its fineness; and therefore one must try to do without it if one can. Then, after giving good advice and counsel and encouragement, and after showing appreciation and doing everything possible, the last thing is to tweak the ears.
有時候，監護人會認為有必要打孩子，打一巴掌，打在臉上。打耳光有時是危險的，因為前額和太陽穴附近有血管與脆弱的器官，打一巴掌可能造成某種當下看不出的傷害，卻可能在二十年或四十年後顯現出來。因此，與其打巴掌，不如捏耳朵要好得多。當懲罰使孩子靈的敏銳變得遲鈍時，它便帶來非常壞的影響。很多時候，懲罰也許對孩子有作用，但總會以某種方式鈍化他的細緻性；因此，如果可以，就應盡量不用懲罰。等到已經給了好的勸導、忠告與鼓勵，也給過欣賞，並且做了所有可能做的事之後，最後一步才是捏耳朵。
Boys are sometimes more stubborn than girls; and if you give them a little punishment in the form of gymnastics it corrects them. If a boy is told to sit down and stand up fifty times, it helps him in his gymnastics, and at the same time he feels punished. Boys are difficult to control, and can easily become insolent if they are not trained from their babyhood. A girl by nature is thoughtful, and a boy by nature is the contrary. When a boy is thoughtful it means that life has taught him.
男孩有時比女孩更固執；若給他們一點體操形式的懲罰，反而能矯正他們。若叫一個男孩坐下起立五十次，這既幫助了他的體操鍛鍊，同時他也會感到自己受了懲罰。男孩較難管教，若不是從幼兒期就開始訓練，很容易變得無禮。女孩天性較為細膩體貼，而男孩天性則相反。當一個男孩變得細膩體貼時，那意味著生命已經教導了他。
Very often both boys and girls can be taught by means of repetition. For instance, if you told the boy to repeat a hundred times, “I will not make pencil marks on the wall”, after repeating it for a hundred times he will be impressed by it. There is a great difference in the effect of making a child repeat a phrase and making him write the phrase a hundred times. If you make the child write the phrase a hundred times the effect is one quarter compared with the effect if you had made him say it a hundred times; that is the best punishment you could give him. While he is repeating a hundred times he becomes impatient, he becomes tired and he is displeased with it; at the same time he is impressed that he is being punished. When one asks a child to stand for a long time and repeat, “I will not be mischievous”, in fifteen minutes time it will take away a great deal of that spirit of mischievousness from it.
很多時候，無論男孩或女孩，都可以藉著重複來教導。比方說，如果你要男孩重複一百次：「我不會再用鉛筆在牆上亂畫。」當他重複了一百次之後，這句話便會深深印在他裡面。讓孩子重複說一句話，和讓他把一句話寫一百遍，其效果差異非常大。若你讓孩子把這句話寫一百遍，那效果只有叫他說一百遍的四分之一；而後者其實是你所能給他的最佳懲罰。當他重複一百次時，他會變得不耐煩、疲累，也會不喜歡這件事；但同時，他也深刻感受到自己正在受罰。當你要一個孩子站著很久，重複說：「我不會再頑皮了。」只要十五分鐘，就會從他身上帶走許多那種頑皮之靈。
One may ask what one is to do if the child will not take the punishment, will not repeat a phrase, for instance. But the child will surely do it. If from babyhood it is not controlled, then it becomes insolent and refuses afterwards, but if from babyhood it is taught to obey a normal child will not refuse.
人也許會問：若孩子不接受懲罰，不肯重複一句話，那該怎麼辦？但孩子終究還是會做的。若他從幼兒期開始就沒有被引導，他之後便會變得無禮並加以拒絕；但若從幼兒期就教他順服，一個正常的孩子是不會拒絕的。
How should one treat a child when it is angry? By not partaking of its anger. That is the first principle. When the guardian loses his temper because of the child’s anger, then everything goes wrong, because then there is a fire on both sides. The child is not helped in that way. It is best to keep calm and direct the child’s attention to something else. If the child is in a temper and the guardian gives it a punishment, that does not do it any good. It is wasted.
當孩子生氣時，該如何對待他？第一原則就是：不要加入他的怒氣。當監護人因孩子的怒氣而自己也發脾氣時，一切就都錯了，因為那就變成兩邊都著火。那樣並不能幫助孩子。最好的方法，是保持平靜，把孩子的注意力轉向別的事。若孩子正在發脾氣時，監護人立刻給他懲罰，那對他一點益處也沒有，只是白費。
There is, however, another time when the punishment may be usefully given. Punishment may be given when the child is in its balanced, normal condition. For instance, if you held a court in the house, where the children could be judged at a time when they had forgotten all about what they had done, then they would remember. That is the time when whatever punishment is given will have effect. But when the child is cross and the punishment is given immediately, it is lost. At that time every effort must be made to take away the temper by kindness, by sympathy. But very often that is where the guardian makes a mistake.
然而，還有另一個時機，是懲罰可以有效施行的。那就是在孩子處於平衡、正常狀態時，可以給予懲罰。比方說，如果你在家中設一個「法庭」，在孩子早已忘記自己做過什麼事的時候，再來評斷他，那時他反而會記得起來。那正是任何懲罰都會產生效果的時候。但當孩子正在鬧脾氣時立刻處罰，效果便完全流失了。在那個時候，應盡一切努力，用仁慈與同理心把他的怒氣帶走。但監護人常常就在這裡犯了錯。
Must a child obey without understanding? There is a vast difference between the mentality and experience of the child and of the guardian. Very often the child will not know why it is told, “You must not do it”; and if the child always asked, “Why must I not do it?” then it would be difficult, because very often it cannot even be explained. And very often it had better not be explained; very often it is better that the child only listens to the guardian and does not argue. Just as the musicians in the orchestra are accustomed to look at the conductor’s baton, so a baby must be taught to look at the glance of its guardian. And if the guardian is wise enough to conduct the action of the baby from morning till evening by his glance alone, he is sure to train that child to be a most promising soul in the future.
孩子是否必須在不理解的情況下也順從呢？孩子與監護人在心智與經驗上有著極大的差距。很多時候，孩子並不知道為什麼會被告知：「你不可以這樣做。」而若孩子總是問：「我為什麼不可以這樣做？」事情就會變得困難，因為很多時候這甚至無法被解釋。而且很多時候，最好也不要解釋；很多時候，更好的是讓孩子只需聽從監護人，而不要爭辯。正如樂團中的樂手習慣注視指揮的指揮棒，幼兒也必須被教導去看監護人的眼神。若監護人有足夠的智慧，能從早到晚僅憑自己的眼神來指揮幼兒的行動，那麼他必定能把這孩子訓練成未來極有希望的靈魂。
And now another question arises: how much must a baby be kept in control, and how much must it be allowed to play with its playmates? There must be certain times when the baby is allowed to play with its playmates. But the guardian must select them, because the association in childhood is more responsible for the baby’s future than the association when grown-up. Very few people think about this. Mostly the tendency of the parents is to think that any child that comes along can play with their child. But when it comes to home education it is not the same thing; that system will not do; because home education is an individual education, while school education is different. There they are all together, but home education is something else, it is a different ideal. And this must be remembered, that school education without home education is not sufficient.
現在又會出現另一個問題：幼兒應該被管束到什麼程度？又應該在多大程度上被允許與玩伴玩耍？必須有某些特定的時間，讓幼兒可以和玩伴一起玩。但這些玩伴必須由監護人來選擇，因為童年時期的交往，對幼兒未來所造成的影響，比成年之後的交往更大。很少有人想到這一點。大多數父母的傾向，是認為任何來到身邊的孩子，都可以和自己的孩子一起玩。但一談到家庭教育，情況就不同了；那種做法並不適用；因為家庭教育是一種個別的教育，而學校教育則不同。在學校裡，大家都在一起；但家庭教育是另一回事，它代表另一種理想。這一點必須記住：只有學校教育而沒有家庭教育，是不夠的。
The greatest drawback today is that home education is lacking, and only school education is given. And therefore in many personalities there is something missing that ought to have come from home. If there were thousands of schools most wisely and wonderfully organized, they still could not take the place of home education. Home education is the foundation of school education; and that opportunity of being educated at home must not be denied to a child, because it is a great blessing.
今日最大的缺失，就是家庭教育的缺乏，而人們只給予學校教育。因此，在許多人的人格裡，便缺少了某些本該由家庭所給予的東西。即使有成千上萬所組織得再有智慧、再完善的學校，也仍然無法取代家庭教育。家庭教育是學校教育的基礎；而孩子在家中受教育的這個機會，絕不可被剝奪，因為那是一種極大的祝福。
There must be discrimination in regard to the playmates that one chooses for the baby. And the time must be limited so that the baby plays with its playmates during that time only. But if the child is allowed to run wild in play and there is no limit to it, then no training is given and it is not education. There is need for play, but only for a certain time and no longer.
對於替幼兒選擇什麼樣的玩伴，也必須有所分辨。而且時間必須有所限制，使幼兒只在那段時間內與玩伴玩耍。若任由孩子在遊戲中放任奔野，毫無限制，那就沒有訓練可言，也不能稱為教育。遊戲是需要的，但只需要在某個特定的時間裡，而不能無止境地持續下去。
Regularity in life is the rhythm of life; and the more the rhythm is maintained in life, the better it is. It is not necessary for many grown-up persons to handle a baby; it is better that only one handles it. It is .just like an orchestra and its conductor. If there were four conductors directing the orchestra, they would spoil it. Even if there were four hundred musicians playing there must be only one conductor. It is the same thing with the guardian. If there is more than one person to guide the life of the child, it will be spoiled. In the case of the two parents one must become the hand of the other. But if both wish to manage their child, then it will be spoiled.
生活中的規律，就是生命的節奏；而生命中的節奏維持得越好，就越好。其實不需要許多成人都來照管一個幼兒；最好只由一個人來帶領他。這就像樂團與指揮一樣。如果有四個指揮同時指揮樂團，那樂團必定被搞亂。即使有四百位樂手在演奏，也只能有一位指揮。監護人的情況也是如此。若有超過一個人來主導孩子的生活，他便會被帶壞。在雙親的情況下，其中一方必須成為另一方的手。但若雙方都想要管理自己的孩子，那麼孩子就會被寵壞或弄亂。
If the baby is an orphan, what can one do? That is destiny; one can only be sorry about it. And those who are blessed by Providence and who have to look after an orphan, should consider their responsibility as that of a parent, of a guardian towards the orphan that is in their charge. But every woman and every man in this world should consider it their duty, whenever they are in contact with a new soul, to be as parents to that soul. For in the total scheme of life all the eider ones have to take the part of the parents to the younger ones, while those have to take the part of the children to those who are older. So that we each have our older ones and our younger ones to look up to and to look after.
如果幼兒是孤兒，又能怎麼辦呢？那是天命，人只能為此感到惋惜。而那些蒙天意祝福、被託付去照顧孤兒的人，應當把自己的責任看作父母、監護人對所照管孤兒的責任。但這世上每一位女人、每一位男人，都應當把這視為自己的責任：每當他們接觸到一個新的靈魂時，都要如同父母一般對待那個靈魂。因為在整個生命的秩序中，所有年長者都必須對年幼者擔當父母的角色，而年幼者也必須對年長者擔當孩子的角色。因此，我們每個人都有比我們更年長、值得我們仰望的人，也有比我們更年幼、需要我們照顧的人。
The greatest ideal that one can give a baby is to look up to its parents. That is the first ideal; and if at that time the baby has not received this ideal, then all his life he will have no ideal, because there will be no basis for it. Someone went to the Prophet Mohammed and said, “Prophet, I am so spiritually inclined, and I would so much like to follow your Message and come and meditate in your presence. But I am still young and my parents need me at home. What shall I do?” The Prophet said, “Remain at home first, because some consideration is due to your parents.” One might think that the Prophet was a greater ideal still; why did the Prophet deny him that ideal, why did he send him home? Because the Prophet thought that was the first ideal. If the youth did not reach the first ideal, how could he get to the second ideal? If he did not look up to his parents, did not appreciate them or feel grateful to them, how could he appreciate the Prophet?
一個人所能給幼兒的最大理想，就是讓他仰望自己的父母。那是第一個理想；若在那個時候，幼兒沒有得到這個理想，那麼他終其一生都不會真正擁有理想，因為他沒有那個基礎。曾有人去見先知穆罕默德，說：「先知啊，我非常有靈性的傾向，也非常想追隨你的訊息，來到你面前冥想。但我還年輕，而我的父母在家裡需要我。我該怎麼辦？」先知回答說：「你先留在家裡，因為你對父母仍有應盡的本分。」人們可能會想，先知不是更偉大的理想嗎？為什麼先知拒絕了他去追隨那個理想，反而要他回家呢？因為先知認為，那才是第一個理想。若這個青年連第一個理想都尚未達到，又怎能去到第二個理想呢？若他不能仰望自己的父母，不能欣賞他們，也不能對他們心懷感恩，他又怎能真正欣賞先知呢？
It is the parents” duty to give that ideal of themselves to their own child. Not for their own sakes, but for the good of the child. That ideal must be given from babyhood so that the child looks up to its parents as it would look up to the King or Queen, or to God or to a prophet. When the ideal is sown in that way, in the child from the beginning, then it will flourish, and then that ideal will become a guiding torch in the life of the soul.
父母有責任把這個關於他們自己的理想給予自己的孩子。這不是為了父母自己，而是為了孩子的益處。這個理想必須從幼兒期就給予，使孩子仰望父母，如同仰望國王或王后，或仰望神，或仰望先知一樣。當這樣的理想從一開始便被播種在孩子裡面，它便會繁盛生長，而那個理想也會成為靈魂生命中的一支引路火炬。